Thursday, December 20, 2012

Where the snow never melts...

I crave snow so much it's starting to consume me.
Yet the sky remains stubbornly stingy, spitting out random flakes here and there and carrying the sweet, clean scent of snow just to tease us.
And the temperature is so schizophrenic-- it's cold, no it's warm, hell it's 50 degrees in the sun.
I've said it before, but the entire East Coast feels constipated and I'm suffering vicariously right along with it. It's also sort of comparable to that trapped feeling I got when I was hugely pregnant and five days past my due date with Esther. You go into this waiting place where it feels as if nothing will ever change.

Then there's the added pressure from  my children, taught to love and worship snow as if it were a holy savior, who badger me every single morning:

 "Why won't it snow? We're never going to get any snow. I thought you said it was going to snow? You lied. That stupid weatherman doesn't know anything."

I feel their pain. It is a physical pain. And I share their longing. And it feels so stupid to be putting this much energy into something that is totally and completely out of our control. It feels stupid because it is stupid. But I have this unshakeable memory of winters spent under a pillowy blanket of white snow. When I wasn't burrowing under it, or wallowing in it, or gliding across it, or ingesting it, hurling it, or shaping it into figures, or lying in it with my face to the sky, watching it drift, from an infinite source, or staring out the window and marveling at its perfection.

And I've been whining lately that if this is truly it, if global warming really will spell the end of winter on this earth, I want to relocate myself to wherever it is on the globe where the last mound of snow melts. Call me selfish, or irreverent to a real crisis, but if the world is going to end, as some say it might tomorrow, I want to be surrounded by my sweetest memories of it.

I will take it as a sign of good things to come that the Wikimedia photo of the day, today, Dec. 20th, my birthday coincidentally, is this shot of a Norwegian freight train:

photo credit:

8 comments:

Was Living Down Under said...

Happy Birthday to you!

My four year old reminded me that tomorrow is the first day of winter "so for sure it'll snow mum!"

I think we had this conversation last year- my first winter back in the Northern Hemisphere... Winter is stupid without snow. I think they were your words. And they still hold true! :)



wilma said...

We've had constant snow since October, come for a visit! We are in Saskatchewan, Canada

Kingsmom said...

Happy Birthday Betsy. Funny you should write this today as I was just thinking yesterday how much I missed your winter posts about snow and your blogs about snowboarding. If only we could find a way to get the world more fiber...

Stephanie said...

Happy birthday, Betsy!

Margie said...

Happy Birthday Betsy!

Tina G said...

I agree- I'm your neighbor in NY and I'm dreading the thought of another winter like last year where it snowed once (on Halloween) and then once more (sort of) in March. I miss it terribly, as does my daughter. I am thinking Minnesota?

Jennifer said...

I too live in VT and hope for snow for the weather to mellow so the snow we gets sticks. I have very found memories of sledding during the holidays with my family. We would finish dinner and bundle up and head outside. It was a blast.

My three year old has been talking about snow since this summer and I am not sure as to why. Randomly she one morning as I was driving she talked about how it is going to snow and cover the mail boxes. I do not know where she got that idea but she longs for snow and even the slight dusting like powdered sugar we had this morning brings excitement to her voice and hope.

mooserbeans said...

I feel your pain. For some reason, I always feel that snow is cleansing. It seems like a new start. I could use a new start. I told my students that we need to invent a new snow dance:)