Friday, December 16, 2011

Together again, for now



Poor Ian.

I tried to leave the house yesterday morning, bright and early, before the kids woke up, to walk to Thames path to Marlow and get some work done at the Starbuck’s there.

The only internet I get here, my life story, is standing in the picture window of Granny’s sewing room, the only room in the house without heat. It’s not conducive to working.
So Starbuck’s is my office.


So there I was,  babbling on and on as I got dressed, about what the girls might like for breakfast, what clothes they miight be looking for, what they might like to do:

Don’t forget to give Isla her nose spray so she doesn’t get allergic, and a spoonful of antihistamine in her juice, not too much juice, but not too little, she doesn’t like to taste the medicine.... , do you have my phone number, will you call me, what are you guys going to do for fun, maybe they would like to go swimming...

Ian said nothing, just looked at me, as if to say, What do I look like, the babysitter?

After 8 months without him, I am having trouble handing over the reins. I worry he has forgotten how to be their father. And I’ve forgotten how to be a wife...

I had not considered how hard it would be to get alone with him, to find time for us, not even realizing how much I need and want that. I was only focusing on the reunion of us as a family, of father and daughters, not husband and wife.


Being parents is hard. We love our children, we love each other. But the madness that is the fullness of their occupation of our every waking hour, is real. And people say it is but a blink of an eye, but I can’t help but dwell on the fact that Ian and I are older than usual, he especially, and ... do we really have all the time in the world? Now that we have been forced apart, time feels all the more precious.













 My commute route:










More TMI over at Momformation...

25 comments:

Jane said...

So happy for you that you are together again for a little while at least. Those airport photos made me want to cry. His hands holding onto his daughters like he never wants to let them go and the smile on his face...beautiful. I wish you and your family a very happy Christmas together. Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts, you help me and I'm sure many others, feel less alone in this crazy thing called parenthood.

Margie said...

Sweet pictures of Ian and your girls. Merry Christmas and enjoy your time together. Hoping that all the red tape works out soon and that Ian will be able to come home to you and the girls.

TerraD said...

I've been checking in frequently to hear about your reunion. So glad you're all together again. I hope you are able to carve out some time for the two of you and that you all have a Very Merry Christmas!

Marsha said...

Beautiful pictures Betsy! That's a pretty nice commute you have there. Have a Merry Christmas and hopefully a Happy New Year with Ian back home.

Was Living Down Under said...

You had me bawling before I even got to the pictures! And then the gorgeous photos...sigh. I'm glad you're together again. Kinda nice that Esther got to hug him first - it was her birthday wish. And is that merangue on the cake? Thanks for sharing!

Anna said...

Those airport photos made me cry. Your story - that I began reading a couple of years ago just gets more and more layered and interesting. Woo.

Ruth said...

Awwwwww! Great pictures. Merry Christmas and safe travels.

Anonymous said...

I'm just sniffling and my eyes are welling and I can't believe how Esther looks in the pictures when they are walking and, and, and... And I wish I was walking down the public footpath with you most of all.

The Real Jenny

Anonymous said...

I meant "big", I can't believe how big Esther looks...

Gina said...

Wow! I'm in tears. What a beautiful reunion! I lost my dad 18 years ago when I was 25. He was 45 when I was born. He was my rock and seeing that photo of Ian and Esther brings me back to how much I need(ed) him. You are right. Life is short. The time with our parents/children is short. When you have a good dad, like mine or like Ian sounds like he is, then you want every to savor every single second together. It won't last forever.

Robin said...

So glad to see the lovely pictures, and I hope everyone gets a little time to enjoy each other!

Kip said...

I hope you and Ian get a day alone. I know, I know, you don't want to deprive the girls time with their dad... but the husband/wife thing is important, and important to the children too.

LOVE your commute photos.

Anonymous said...

Oh, can't you just stay in London until his paperwork is done??? I hope Granny can watch the girls one evening/night so you two can escape. Best wishes to you all ...

Kate D said...

Oh Betsy, thank you so much for sharing these wonderful photos. I lingered on them longer than usual,and had tears in my eyes, too, just like the other posters. I lost my Dad 21 years ago when I was 20 and I still miss him in my life. I wish he could've met my husband and my kids. I hope Ian can come home to VT soon and you can all be together like it should be.

Emma said...

Sitting here with my cup of tea and tears welling in my eyes. Can just imagine that reunion at the airport. Gorgeous.

Anne said...

What beautiful pictures! You've had me in tears! Enjoy every minute of your time together as a family and I hope you will manage to get some "alone-time" with Ian. Have a Merry Christmas.

Allison said...

Hi Betsy! I just read your comments regarding Michelle Duggar on Momformation site and I just wanted to thank you! I tried holding a similar argument with a friend and huge Duggar supporter on Facebook and no one seemed to get the point. She is exploiting the death of her child and people are completely naive if they think the Duggar's are not making money!
Your blog is great and I look forward to following you! :)

Anonymous said...

The picture of Ian hugging Esther made me cry! The way that he's on his knees, smile on his face, with his sweet little girl collapsed against him is beautiful and sweet! What a great birthday present! I hope that you have a great Christmas holiday.

KiminAZ

Katriina said...

I am so happy for you all, and got quite choked up at your beautiful reunion photos. My own husband and I frequently take each other for granted. You have reminded me what a precious thing my small family is. Going off to hug my man.

C. said...

Oh Betsy, you words were heartfelt but it was the first picture of Ian and Esther and I burst into tears. Have a wonderful holiday while you try and put your lives and hearts back together.

Anonymous said...

Betsy - your airport photos of Ian and the girls made me cry. Thanks for reminding me of the important things.
Keep talking, we're listening.
Danielle

Lara said...

Welling up with tears over the airport pictures. So glad you're there safely, and enjoy your time.

Anonymous said...

Betsy- thanks so much for sharing these pictures- Since I've been following your saga, these made me cry.

Sheri said...

Awwwwww...those pics of the girls and Ian are soooo amazing. Enjoy your time all together!! xo

JennTheGamerMom said...

I'm so happy you're together for the time being. Don't worry overmuch about the not connecting with each other right away; you'll get there.